all sportant, no important

i'm hemorraghing

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 02:16:14 GMT

Luther Head? Luther Head? Luther Head?!?!?!??!!?

Wayne Simien was still available! I mean Bob Sura, Mike James, David Wesley, and Jon Barry aren't Zeke, Dumars, and the Microwave, but goddamn! Guardplay wasn't what Dallas beat them with. Argh. And no second round pick either...hope free agency is kinder to them. Maybe Badiane will pan out too. Again, argh.

the sportingfret's Game 7even Pick

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 00:44:24 GMT

Detroit is peaking while San Antonio is looking for something like last known good configuration. Even though I doubt Tim Duncan's going to have this many bad games in a Bo7 series, as I said before, Detroit's at the height of their powers. They're as healthy as they're ever going to be, and they know they can win. Pistons by 7. MVP: Rasheed Wallace.

this is gonna be some Ivan Drago shit here...except Ivan's gonna be Croatian

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 14:42:58 GMT

NBA teams to play European league teams in exhibitions next 2 years. This is going to be GREAT. Biggest bragging rights on the line since Farnsworth and His Atomic Supermen defended Earth's honor against the Globetrotters.

leave Jon B. alone!

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 18:09:22 GMT

Funny article about the NBA players you play pickup ball with. One thing though, Jon Barry's a damned fine reserve. The Rockets were a lot better with him coming off the bench than they were with Tyronn Lue starting. He busts his ass on every play, he takes good shots at a high percentage, and what's more, he's still in the league long after other Techsters drafted much higher than him (Kenny Anderson, Dennis Scott, Brian Oliver) have lost their place. I have to wonder if this guy's ever really watched Barry play. I admit, I watch him with close scrutiny since my role was much the same when I played (annoy, use all 5 fouls, and stretch the defense like ICBMs based in Cuba or Turkey), but the man's got a handle. He'll surprise you with a flashy pass, teammate or fan.

everything is going to hell my superthugs is going to jail

Sat, 21 May 2005 00:07:37 GMT

In case I've never mentioned it, my two favorite sportswriters are Bill Simmons (ESPN's The Sports Guy) and Sean Deveney of the Sporting News. Here's what the former had to say about a possible 2005 draft pick:
11. Johan Petro, 7-0, C, France
He has Charles Atlas' physique and Charles Oakley's toughness. In terms of basketball skill, think Prince Charles.

sweet black zombie jesus! (x-posted to <lj user="antifret")

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 15:12:18 GMT

Grant Hill just dropped 32 points, 5 boards, and 5 dimes on possibly the toughest defender in the league, Andrei Kirilenko. The comeback of the EON is happening in Orlando. Grant Hill's comebacks were starting to get the kind of pooh-poohing usually reserved for talk of truly new MBV records. Said comeback involves Cat and Franchise as his running mates. Grrr...this WOULD happen with a slow start from the Rockets. Oh well. I have got to fucking get cable...

a most peculiar feeling

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 14:38:08 GMT

LSU has been so up and down this year that they've almost managed to make me not care. This is an odd thing for a 7-2 team coming off the heels of a nat'l championship. It's not the way they lost those two games, because even though Ga. stuck it to them, let's face it, who's played Auburn better since then? I think it's the way they've won, actually. You'd think a team that's come from behind for half their wins would be more exciting to watch, but it doesn't seem that way at all really, as they were favored in all the games anyways. The embarassment of riches at tailback doesn't seem all that impressive either when you just keep waiting for the other team to clog the middle. I know I would. You gotta make Shaq beat you from the free throw line, and you gotta make Ja(Marcus) R'ell throw at least 20-30 times.
At any rate, the season's far from a wash, but next year I hope Ja. [uss] shows a faster learning curve than M[and]. Not that Mauck was worlds better, but any quarterback controversy that involves Marcus Randall as a factor is a misperception at best and a dire state of talent at the position at worst.

go!

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 19:43:26 GMT

The strain of self-censorship for fear of boring some people, ie; almost all my friends, be they the kind I experience mostly through the computer, or the type I see every day, has overwhelmed me. I, however, think I'm at my most absurd AND precise when I rap sports. So here I am. Again. You've been warned. There are no matters of consequence or lofty thought here, just sport.
Anyways..the first 6 NBA games are done and my impression is that scoring is up. Espn.com's NBA section backs me up, it seems. I'm glad to see it, even if it is mostly an increase in foul shooting. At least someone's making them.
Utah and Phoenix, man, I can't wait to see either of those teams this year. Ok, so just Phoenix, but I do like to read Utah's box scores, if only for much the same reason i like to read "how to dismantle an h-bomb with a paperclip" articles. For zombiejesus's sake, they're winning with a Russian, a Croatian, The Man Who Would Not Be Bronbron's Charles Oakley|Horace Grant (Carlos Boozer), and Matt Harpring, who is chiefly notable to me because he looks like my high school best friend and power forward, Greg. You know the evolution of the NBA into a more world-wise, less street-smart league of skill (and not just talent) has been completed when those in the know would tell you Utah's only going to get better when they get their Puerto Rican and Spanish point guards back. Right now they're starting someone or something named Keith McLeod. I know, he's never heard of you either.
My Rockets look eminently defeatable, but it's early. The point guard by committee hasn't yet had a chance to trot out all starters for the spot. If you ask me, the real problem is that Juwan and Maurice both play like .04s, not point power forwards.
Mutumbo looked less dead than I thought. Boki's leading the team in adjusted shooting percentage, btw. Get the Slovenian Sensation some minutes!

Football: Even in victory, LSU looks horrible. A bowl that comes only a couple of days after Christmas would be more than they deserve, but then, please note all the games You Ess Cee has had to win in the second half this year, including one to those selfsame hapless buzzard-luck OSU beavers.
In pro meatball, my favorites are much, much, scientifically notated, much worse. The Raiders suck the cracked eggs of dead maggots of the maggots that ate what they were last year. The only question is who do you think San Diego's going to send packing: Tom Brady (Drew Brees), or Philip Rivers (not even Drew Bledsoe). SAT-level association there, I tell you.

hockey: they still play that?

baseball: Millar sez the sox asking WWJD** before every game led to the comeback and broke the Bambino's curse. I say more power to him, and think my Phillies should take that page and cube it. They should all burn dutchies when they need a rally from now on. How filling, I mean, fitting, would that be in the City of Brotherly Smoke?

**and coming back from it smelling like bourbon and not hypocrisy, mind you